just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
