too bad you live with your parents still
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
