Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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