i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
