you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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