there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i think im in europe. pls send help
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
