my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
