Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
