Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
