i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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