today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
