Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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