$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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