omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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