I'm so fucking centered right now
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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