He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
