butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
