Dual....:-)
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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