that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
