No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
