ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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