You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
