I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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