absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
