ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
