I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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