If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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