i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
last night I used snow as a chaser
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
