i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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