I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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