i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Alive.
So much puke
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
