yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
