I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
