i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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