I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
