I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
