Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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