is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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