I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
