There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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