so that wasnt chicken after all
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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