you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize