I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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