So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Randomize