the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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