The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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