So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
