Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
