So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm at about main and main street
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
