drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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