Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
