After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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