exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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