just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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