I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
