He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
