There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
