I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
