Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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