3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
