OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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