Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
