did you get engaged???
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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