His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
